after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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