I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
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