I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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