When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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