i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
