I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
