distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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