Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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