I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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