I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
