it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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