Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
God, I missed his penis.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
