Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
