His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
