is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
