dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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