I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
