why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
