You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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