Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
