did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
