why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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