doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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