There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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