physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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