So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
