he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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