are you so shy because you have an std?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
