I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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