ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
