Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
