its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
