Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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