Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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