I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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