I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize