Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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