I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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