I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
