Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
