time to smoke my breakfast
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
