Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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