it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
