Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
