Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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