if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
