i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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