There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
