12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
