You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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