i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Your penis caused this!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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