he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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