Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
