oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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