you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The air was thick with penises
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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