I must be too annoying 4 u.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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