I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
