hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
