She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Randomize
