Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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