Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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